Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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