i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
