Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
