Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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