honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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