So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
