Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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