hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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