Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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