At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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