So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
