sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
