im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
