ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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