Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize