Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
