I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
