I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
