"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
