Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
