I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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