We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
