i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
