i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
