I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
