dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
