just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
