we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
