how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she peed on how many people?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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