so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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