I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
