NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
