Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
