the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize