i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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