Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
