is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
