But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
not ubering you a puppy
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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