I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
