Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize