just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it's great music for shaving your balls
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Alive.
So much puke
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
