I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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