Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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