dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I need moral support for this bender
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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