first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
