well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
