I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
