Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I touched a dick in church today
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
