I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
