sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
