please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
