What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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