so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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