Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
