if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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