Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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