I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
