please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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