Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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